apr, 19th - introducing kelly....

[ Kelly & Limi]

day 803:

figuring out how to have careers and still be there for Limi (for her sake and for ours) has been tricky....it's certainly not a new topic and not one that i want to rehash here...but i've come to appreciate how important a balance is for me and how that balance can be different for every family and every parent. we still haven't managed to get it right (although, hopefully some exciting plans on the horizon will move towards a better balance)...but one thing that has helped incredibly, has been the wonderful nannies that we've managed to find. our first nanny, Jae {see day 389} was brilliant at helping me make the transition from being with Limi 24 hours a day to starting work again.....unfortunately her visa ran out in December and we had to find someone new......

Kelly, Limi's new nanny, is also fantastic. our biggest measure being how happy Limi is......and seriously, A. and i are always the ones grateful for squeezes and kisses when we walk out the door....as she happily skips past singing at the top of her lungs. Limi has adored both Jae and Kelly and we have loved how much they have both contributed to her development, self-confidence and general happiness. 

Kelly also comes from Australia (i may just need a South African next to balance things in this house.....I'm drowning in Aussialia). not only does she make Limi happy but she brings general cheer into our house. something that A. and i both appreciate. we always wanted a happy, relaxed, music & laughter filled home and that's exactly, with the help from Kelly, what we seem to have managed to create for Limi.

and an added bonus with having nannies from a different country is that they are just as excited to visit the sights of London as Limi is. i'm playing catch-up to my two-year old who has already been to see Damien Hirst at the Tate and the Inside Out exhibition. (although i wouldn't have it any other way as that is exactly what living in London is all about).

we have been extremely lucky to find both Jae and Kelly and I love the idea that Limi is gathering these amazing people who will always want to be part of her life.

p.s. these are the pics that i get sent whilst i'm working.....it's hard to stay serious when this pops up on your screen :)

may, 25th - balancing.....

day 472:

my posts last year contained a lot more musings.....on motherhood and other topics.....yes, this blog has never really been too wordy but lately, i feel like i'm just churning out pics. i guess that what comes with being busier....less opportunity to sit and musificate (it must be a word.....right?) but for me, it's quite interesting to go back and re-read letters or diary notes that were written at a particular time.....so, since this is a journal of our adventures and cheesy as they may be....i'm bringing back 'letters to limi' and maybe even a few to myself.

so, as obvious as it may be to most of you, i wanted to write about the struggle to find the right balance.......finding the balance between being an individual and part of a family....finding the balance between career and homelife......finding the balance between work and play. i mean, it's seriously not a new topic and i have no solution but probably for the first time, i'm realising just how we struggle to find our own answers to this subject.

one thing that is clear to me is a need for flexibility...some people like structure and certainty.....i like flexibility.......i love working and having a career and contributing financially, but i also want to be able to adapt that around Limi and A. (this probably stems from me really hating missing out on anything) so having to miss out on Limi's 'end of term' swimming session eats me up inside....

the other aspect is doing things that you're passionate about. so, unless what you're passionate about doesn't allow you the financial freedom to enjoy your downtime, i think that it's important to spend your days/nights doing what you love......i mean that wraps up lifestyle and career balance into one.

and finally time, time is such a precious thing but i guess what i'm learning is that we're playing the long-term game here......just as you think that the individuality versus family balance can get no worse (103 days straight of spending 24 hours a day with a demanding infant)...it shifts and you suddenly get some of your self back but also start getting more from the family aspect......

so really, the balance thing is an ever evolving dynamic state where we constantly need to look for solutions, my suggestion (again, not a new one) is to enjoy every second.....make it about what you want to do.....and when you look back, you'll see that in fact, you probably got the balance just right.

jan, 19th - my new world.....

day 340:

a glimpse into my new world....i've moved to a different part of London for this new role.....a very pretty part of London....

jan, 17th - those bumpy rungs.....

day 338:

so today i had to put on my big girl high heels, wipe the mini fingerprints off my jacket and climb back on the ladder...my coping mechanism.....not think too hard about it all and to try and just enjoy the new adventure....

i tried...really hard but by the end of the day, i was desperately missing my life last-week-this-time....(not helped by coming home to an upset Limi) all the uninterrupted coffee breaks couldn't make up for the fun that i normally have in my day (sadly no-one asked me to crawl-chase them down the corridor)

but

tomorrow is another day. i will once again put on my big girl high heels, give Limi a giant squeeze and try and get a firmer grip on those rungs.

dec, 7th - nanny diaries....

day 297:

one of the amazing things about living in London is the incredible diversity. this was very evident when we advertised for a nanny and had responses from people who have moved from all the far-flung corners of the globe.

with the new year, also comes a return to work for me. i've put it off for as long as possible but sadly, it's time to step back on the ladder. i wrote about the the conflict of returning to work vs. staying at home, on day 211. i still haven't reconciled it in my heart but my head says that's the best thing i can do for our family.

so, after making the BIG decision it was time to find her a amazing nanny. from the 60+ responses that we received from the ad (yikes, there are aLOT of available nannies out there) I interviewed eight people: a French manny, a Colombian and a Mexican nanny and then a couple of Southern Hemisphere girls. i modified this list of interview questions from BabyCenter, changing a few and adding a couple of my own like: "What makes you angry? Do you sing? Can you give me an example of where you've shown initiative in a previous childminding position."

the diversity definitely threw up some interesting answers. some of my best came from the Parisian manny who did warn me that his English wasn't brilliant.

Me: "What's your approach to discipline for a 10 month old?"

French Manny (FM): "Pah, she's a bebe."

Me: "What's your favourite activity to do with a 10 month old?"

FM: "Pah, she's a bebe."

Me: "If Limi has an accident in the park, what do you do?"

FM: "Call 111. Non, call 222."

Me: "999?"

FM: "Yes, 999."

Me: "Limi eats Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner."

FM: "Non, only 2 meals."

Me: "No, she eats 3."

FM: "Non, 2 meals."

Me: "Um, lunch is quite small."

(that might explain why Parisians are so slim and chic....they start from a young age....)

in a parallel world, the FM would have been incredible. Limi would have picked up French, a very relaxed attitude and the other mothers would have loved me. (although the restricted diet may have been a bit severe). but we agreed that the language barrier for FM and I was never going to work out.

after eight interviews and three trials we have found a wonderful nanny from Oz. i am feeling a little better about January now.

sep, 11th - french conflict...

day 211:

of course, no matter how much I am loving the time with Limi and enjoying watching her grow before my eyes, there are days where the monotony of caring for a small baby gets you down. this in turn, makes you consider the whole debate between being a stay-at-home mum vs stepping back onto the rungs of the career ladder.

so, an article awhile back in the Times, made me sit up and take notice (in a way that I wouldn't have 18 months ago). it was a piece about the French philosopher, Elisabeth Badinter, who is causing sling-wearing, organic-veg-growing, nappy washing mothers everywhere to flex their forum-writing fingers.

she has recently released a book called Le Conflict, La Femme et La Mere (The Conflict, The Woman and The Mother) which basically says that modern women are turning motherhood into their new 'careers'. getting straight to the point...in that very French way, her attitude is that a woman who gives birth to a child should be 'a woman first and a mother second'.....i get what she's saying....if she means that you shouldn't lose yourself just because you become a mother.

an interesting point that she makes is that we have created this all-or-nothing approach to raising children...where it has become as competitive and all consuming as a career. days are tailored around pureeing that home-grown, organic veg, attending a carefully constructed schedule of social networking, baby activities and being home in time to meet the cloth-nappy, laundry service. mediocre mothering is just not an option anymore.

she hauls out some stats that suggest that women in certain countries are now choosing not to have children because they see it as too high maintenance. therefore, they are choosing their careers instead as they think that you cannot successfully combine the two, if you want to achieve high standards in both. 


well, i certainly don't have it figured out yet. i haven't even tried to combine the two. a huge plus is definitely the shifting attitudes towards being more mobile in the working arena (egs. hot desking from different locations to be closer to home and even working more from home). but, i do think that for every organic meal that i may not cook as a result of going back to work, limi will definitely benefit from seeing me have a career that i enjoy.

now, just to reconcile the fact that while i may miss out on experiencing some 'firsts', limi will love having the different experiences and influences that come with having a nanny from another culture and i will love the mental challenges and stimulation that come with my job (oh, plus some uninterrupted coffee drinking time!)...at least part of the week.


i'm pretty excited about stepping back on the rungs....just have to remember how to wear heels again, whilst doing it.