mar, 23rd - clever fish....

day 777:

"Everybody is a genius.  But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid"
-  Albert Einstein

how fantastic is this quote that i recently came across. in fact, it made me appreciate just what a brilliant word Genius is because its meaning and use is not limited to conventional intelligence but spans creativity, talent, intellect.....you could be a genius in almost everything.....

the fact that we all have something Genius is something that i believe in. the conventional school system doesn't always help everyone to discover their true 'Genius' and instead can make them feel like they are not clever or talented. although i absolutely loved school, i am even more conscious now that i am considering Limi's future, that her Genius may lie in something beyond the conventional system and beyond what A. and i are interested in. what if she has immense talent in rock-climbing or archeology or mud wrestling but never gets exposed to these things. tapping into an individual's Genius may happen via school and what you are experience along the way but i also think its part of the parents' responsibility and in many cases you have to put your own aspirations and wishes aside and really consider your child as an individual.....i mean mud-wrestling wouldn't really be my first choice but she's certainly showing some talent in the sand-pit.......

anyway, if I ever open a school, this will be my school motto (just in Latin of course :) 

apr, 4th - life lessons.....

day 422:

life lessons that we are trying to teach Limi at the moment.....

• if you can touch the edge then you're too close
• things taste better through a straw
• travelling by shoulder is the only way to go
• there are tastier things to eat than lipstick and body cream
• if you don't let on then your parents and your nanny will both sneak you treats
• dive bombing pillows......is a great way to spend the day

oct, 22nd - playgroup or cagefight....

[trying to steer her away from the face/head tapping]

day 253:

i'm all for teaching kids to fight their own battles....i mean, hey, i'm the youngest of three...if i hadn't learnt to fight my own battles then i would still be the one sitting in the middle of the back-seat on all long car trips; would have learnt that when i give back tickles the 5 minutes is more like 10 (and my siblings' 5 minute return tickles are more like 2 minutes....hey, i was small, i couldn't tell the time yet) and that it's not my duty to take up every activity that they do (to keep them company)....i mean doing karate, horse-riding, ballet and swimming is a busy schedule when you're under six.

but my lost battles aside.....i would like Limi to learn to sort out her own issues without running to me/ A.....the problem at the moment is how to protect the other kids.....those violent forms of affection that she keeps demonstrating to us, are transferring to her playmates.....you know: affectionate hair pulling; loving face pats; friendly eye pokes....and it's tough to resist the strong desire to strap her arms to her body whilst saying gently, gently, GENTLY LIMI.....as she yanks on Aedan's ear!

but as long as she can take what she hands out (you know...within reason and without bullying...i definitely don't do bullying) and it seems that she's pretty comfortable with being poked in the eye, patted on the head, shoved out the way...

then i'll try to step back and let them try and figure it out for themselves....

oct, 18th - before you do....

[at 37 weeks]

day 249:

i don't believe that there is one way to do things (unless it's about eating corn-on-the-cob/ aeros, in which case seriously, there is only one way!)....this doesn't mean that i don't have strong opinions...STRONG opinions! but i try to be open-minded to everyone's approach, no matter how different to mine.

so when it comes to living life, celebrating birthdays, raising babies, I have my views on how I want to attempt it...but hey, I can also see that for some people, an approach like the strict Gina Ford schedule is the way to go....and if it works for them then I say 'do some happy high-kicks' (there's been far too much Cabaret in this house this week.....but anything to hear those baby giggles!)

i also try not to be the person who kills someone's future experiences with statements like: 'just wait and see, you'll get sick of eating Burritos every day for lunch soon'.....or 'you better get your sleep now because you certainly won't get to sleep until 10am in the future'....or, 'you think that this is hard, just wait till she's teething, walking, 2....'.....these been-there-done-that statements....i mean, why emphasise the negative in the future?

anyway, as i said on day 101, as soon as you get pregnant, from then on it's suddenly free reign on telling you how to live your life, drink your coffee, eat, sleep, not sleep.....people (strangers even) love to tell you how different your life will be after the baby comes and generally how tough it will be....so a common statement  that you hear is 'make the most of [insert anything to do with happiness here]'......

anyway...that was the longest intro ('Shine On You Crazy Diamond' has nothing on me) to say that I'm about to do just that....give some gratuitous advice....see in my opinion (STRONG of course), waiting until you're pregnant is too late for people to start telling you about things that you should do......i mean once i was pregnant, everyone said to me: 'get as much sleep as you can' ....but that's WAY too late....how can you sleep when you have a watermelon strapped to you and you suddenly have an insatiable desire to sleep on your pre-watermelon stomach.....(it's a bit like that obsession to lie down that you get on a long-haul flight). so.... these are my:

Top Tips to do before you get pregnant (and this is not just for girls):

• Sleep in....forget early bird catches the worm.....in fact i resent every morning that i woke up before 8am
• Stay out late.....because those early mornings are a cure for any desire to stay out late and dance your socks off 
• Drink coffee....once you're pregnant, those limits kick in and after that, any desire for caffeine beyond 11am will have you worrying that you won't sleep
• Wear high heels (more aimed at the girls this one)
• Wear silk (again more aimed at the girls...although you know, i won't judge....)
• Enjoy hangovers (okay, probably not a sensible recommendation...but you know what i mean)....

and finally,

• Fly away for a weekend with one small carry-on bag.....once pregnant, flying becomes less enjoyable and after that it will be a veeeeeery long time before you fly away as a family without loads and loads of gear.

oct, 2nd - rooibos tea for babies....

day 232:

when i think of home, i think of scrunching sand beneath my toes, smelling the fynbos (fine bush), looking up at the mountain as i scoot from one part of cape town to the next and curling up with a cup of rooibos (red bush) tea and honey.

rooibos tea is as intrinsically South African as proteas and vuvuzelas. i remember my flatmate at university telling me how when her older sister was a tiny baby, she wasn't thriving and the doctors didn't have any ideas so her mum started putting rooibos tea in her milk and sure enough, she started blossoming. 

giving babies plain rooibos tea in their bottles is a very common thing to do in SA. it provides a change from water, it's not juice and it's packed with minerals (that supplement the daily intake of fluoride and calcium) and anti-allergic, anti-spasmodic and anti inflammatory goodness. which means that it's good for colic, stomach cramps and digestion. it doesn't even stop there...when applied topically, it's had great results with relieving skin irritations like eczema and even the common nappy rash...all from one small tea-bag packed with some dried bush.

the colic benefits were discovered by Annique Theron in 1968. she was living in Pretoria, the capital city of South Africa, and was caring for her youngest child who was suffering from terrible colic and couldn't keep any food down. as the story goes, after many sleepless nights, one morning her child was crying non-stop from hunger and in desperation, Dr Theron warmed up her milk with some of the rooibos tea that she had been drinking. for the first time, the baby slept for 3 hours and not only slept but also stopped vomiting. the connection to rooibos was not instant but once Dr Theron remembered and tried it again, she found the same results. she went on to dedicate her life to discovering the therapeutic benefits of rooibos tea. she has written books on the subject and helped millions of babies who were suffering the same stomach issues. this year, Dr Annique Theron turned eighty. there is a great article on her story here.

anyway this week, i started Limi on rooibos tea....you steep one tea-bag in her usual bottle...that's it. don't add anything to it. besides the benefits, i love the fact that it looks like juice so she won't feel left out if others are having cordial, it's not sweet, so hopefully she won't crave sweet drinks (for awhile), it can be served warm (great for winter) and best of all....she seems to enjoy it! and of course for me, it brings a little slice of home to London....

pic source

sep, 17th - peek-a-boo....

day 217:

we get progress updates on 'what our baby should be doing at this stage' that drop into our inbox at an alarming-growing-too-fast rate. these updates were amazing when i was pregnant....A and i would devour them and then send them onto our far-flung families. it made me feel more connected to my immediate family who couldn't see the outward changes but would know week after week what was happening....for example that the baby's lungs were developing and that i would start to feel a justified need for naps in the afternoon. 

our tailored updates (based on the expected due date and then the actual birth date) come from Baby Centre. they are an amazing resource that can be accessed by anyone globally. the things that i especially love about their updates are:

• the pregnancy growth images that gave me some idea of what was happening inside the growing watermelon
• the fact that they didn't once refer to the baby as a 'bundle of joy'
• updates both on how the baby is developing and how your pregnancy is progressing
• the style of writing which makes it accessible for both parents and the extended family to read
• fantastic links to relevant information e.g. a link to different types of pain relief during the week of writing your birth plan

during pregnancy, the progress reports came in weekly but once the baby was born, they start coming in about every fortnight. although they still make interesting reading and are always filled with useful tips of how to stimulate your baby at each new stage, i haven't followed them as closely since Limi was born...i tend now, to use the site more to look up specific questions/issues....and it's excellent for these too.

but the latest update caught my attention as it's opening line was: '[At 7 months and 3 weeks], a simple game of peek-a-boo can absolutely fascinate your baby.' They are Spot On with this update.....peek-a-boo is what gets limi belly-laughing all the time....it started with her cousins in Italy and now it's either with her hiding under her blanket or towel....or with A. and i hiding around the Shoebox.....it's definitely her favourite game...well, except for her other one that i call Pac-girl (only relevant for anyone who lived through the '80s)....which is to try and munch everything in sight.

aug, 22nd - another word for no....

day 191:

i'm trying desperately not to overuse the word No! with Limi. it's probably a case of thinking about it all a bit too hard (you know....lots of time on my hands at the moment and a companion who is only mastering the vowel sounds.) but in these hard-thinking times, i've decided that it would be very easy to become a No household. 'No limi, don't touch!', 'No pulling!', 'No, you can't eat that.' I don't want her overriding memory to be the word 'No'.....In a very Obama-esque way, I want a 'Yes' house. 

now I just need to figure out how to say: 'No, stop yanking out my hair'...without sounding like something out of a New Age parenting guide: 'Limi, i would really appreciate it if you didn't pull at my hair in that fashion'.....hmm....that just doesn't cut it.

jul, 31st - packing...again.....

day 169:

we're off to the continent on monday to see the family. i've added a couple of things to my packing list from day 147 (especially for a Summer break). so here is my full baby-Summer-holiday-survival-check-list....it's a long list and yikes! babies' ESSENTIALS take up all your holiday-shopping space:

• travel cot (we bought the extra mattress to make it more comfy. the mattress folds up and fits into our suitcase)
• cot sheet
• baby monitor (really helps when you want to sit on the terrace enjoying the view and a sun-downer without wondering whether every new noise is limi squeaking)
• buggy (we use the car-seat-buggy combination...so that we have a car-seat on the other side. although the downside is that the car-seat is fairly warm for her to nap in during the day)
• rain cover for the buggy
• a sling/ baby carrier (the lightest, cotton version that you can get away with)
• mosquito net for the travel cot and the buggy
• clothes (with plenty of layering options)
• sun-hats and glasses
• swimsuits
• enough nappies, wipes, cream to get you through the first couple of days (or enough for the whole trip if going rural....at least it means some shopping space for the trip home)
• swimming nappies
• baby sunscreen
• biting insect repellent wipes/ cream
• baby friendly bite cream
• readymade baby food for the first two days while you're sourcing and preparing local produce
• a strainer if you can't use a blender...you can just push the softened food through the strainer with the back of a spoon
• formula and a couple of readymade cartons for emergencies (including the flight)
• bottles and the spoons that she's familiar with (i just use a local bowl or even the bottle lid in an emergency)
• sterilising tablets (even though they smell horrendous, i think that it's worth taking them along even once you've stopped sterilising. just means that in unfamiliar environments, you still have the option of sterilising the bottles, plates, spoons.)
• bibs/ muslins
• nail scissors/clippers
• thermometer (or the easy travel thermometer strips)
• small bottle of calpol (just prevents having to hunt for it in a local supermarket at some inconvenient hour)
• bedtime routine essentials - soundtrack and her giraffe lullaby toy
• bath essentials - sponges, baby wash, one rubber duck, brush
• towels (unless some are available for swimming and bathing)
• some shade options (large muslin for covering the cot, a shade tent if going to the beach, or something that you can fashion into a shelter...think sticks, cloth, weights)
• a blanket option for throwing down on the floor/ grass/ sand (can use towels, sarongs, swaddles)
• a familiar toy
• a bottle of baby friendly mineral water (low sodium content)

things that i've learnt from our baby trips so far:

1. pack in zones (read: separate bags that can be layered according to importance): bathing, feeding, sleeping, clothing…..so that when you get to your destination late at night, you’re not digging through the bag to find the travel-cot sheet…. was that us in Greece…um…yes
2. a trip bag (which is a pimped-nappy-bag) – along with the essentials and depending on the length of your flight include two changes of clothes (for both of you), a warm hat, a sleep suit and a blanket 
3. local water is not always safe to boil as it can use softeners. use mineral water but find a baby-safe mineral water that has a low sodium content
4. leave the mosquito net on the cot all through the day so that pesky bugs don't decide to hide in it
5. google the directions to the local hospital or clinic. always worth just having for emergencies
6. your days of pulling a trolley bag onto the plane are over (unless you can push a buggy and a bag at the same time). i still haven't found a stylish option but i've seen plenty of mums using backpacks

and one final sneaky tip: in my experience they don't weigh the buggy so you can usually get away with slipping a few things in the under-storage

jul, 21st - buddies....

day 159:

A wise friend, told me that I would really value the relationships that I forge with other new mums who go through the parenting steep learning curve at the same time.....For me, it's been the girls that I met through pregnancy yoga (which followed through to mums and babies' yoga - see day 32)


Post yoga, over coffee, we have negotiated the formerly, little understood topics of: sleep (or surviving without it), feeding, weaning, travelling, nannies, hair/lack of hair, allergies, nurseries, teething, jabs, sickness, toys, sharing of chores, baby lessons, clothes, mishaps, returning to careers......in fact many topics that are just not suitable for general public consumption. They have given me endless brilliant advice and made me feel normal even when i've arrived on 3 hours sleep, feeling haggard and wearing my top inside out.


so, girls....thank you! the next round of coffees is on me.


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With a summer break in our yoga schedule, we met in the park today instead. It was time for the babies to literally get to grips with each other.....

[Mabel: "Seriously Limi, what look are you channelling here? Washer woman?]

[Limi: "This is how I like to roll."]

[Limi: "I think I've got it, make two bunny ears......"]

jul, 17th - just keep on driving....

day 155:

shoowee, a long drive is tough on babies. strapped into a car-seat in a warm, crammed car.....our drive back from Cornwall made me feel guilty for the full 6 hours....next time i'm taking a train/ boat/ plane...anything that allows her a bit of freedom of movement. i mean, when we were small, we were lying on the back rear-window platform...or when we were really small, we were in baskets at our mum's feet or stretched across her lap. (which doesn't make it right but definitely wins if they're handing out high-risk-high-comfort badges.)

on the way down...we managed to break up the journey with a cricket match (see day 148) in-between and left the last 2.5 hours for night-time when she was happy to sleep. but, on the way home, we were just keen to get back. so, except for changing, feeding and rolling on a rug on a tiny patch of grass we found on the edge of a parking-lot (oh the glamour)...we just kept on trucking.

i highly DON'T recommend it!

we did ALOT of singing and even tried row, row, row your boat as a round WITH actions.

i was just happy to get home, pluck her from that seat and let her roll with abandon!
i've made a solemn promise that she won't be subjected to the car-seat for at least three days.

jul, 9th - packing....

day 147:

[Mousehole...our Cornish destination]

soooo, after our two overseas flying escapes (day 84 and day 102), next week we are off on our first driving holiday (we’re cramming them in before i have to go back to work!). we’re off for a week to Cornwall for A.’s annual cricket tour. Limi’s Nanna and Grandpa Bill are over from Australia and Stav is also joining us for a week of cricket pitches with sea views, postcard harbours, lots of dairy products (Cornwall is famous for its’ clotted cream, butter, clotted cream ice-cream….you get the theme here) , fantastic galleries and of course plenty of fresh fish and sea air.

although, we’re not constrained by the airline weight allowance this time around, we are fairly constrained by car space …so this is my driving-holiday-survival-list:

1.     car with a sizeable boot (obvious…yes!…but do we have one…no! after many years of just the two of us in the city with our only requirement, being a car big enough to fit a cricket bag in…we’re having to seriously reconsider zooting vs practical)

2.     packing in zones (read: separate bags that can be layered according to importance): bathing, feeding, sleeping, clothing…..so that when you get to your destination late at night, you’re not digging through the boot or bag to find the travel-cot sheet…. was that us in Greece…um…yes!

3.     a trip bag (which is a pimped-nappy-bag) – along with the essentials, include a sleep-suit so that at bedtime you can dress them in their sleeping gear and then it’s an easy transfer from the car to the cot

4.    and finally these bits and pieces in no particular order:

·      nail scissors/clippers (unless it’s just limi who’s nails seem to grow at scratch-lighting-speed….)

·      thermometer (only because it’s such a pain to be on holiday wondering if it’s actually a temperature or just a weather change)

·      a couple of emergency ready made formula cartons

·      the bedtime routine essentials – soundtrack, rubber-ducks and her giraffe waterholes

p.s. i'm hoping that all the extra hands will mean plenty of lie-ins and book reading...whoohoo!

jul, 7th - portrait of a 5 month old....

day 145:

i was having an odd-ribbon-day…..but I love this pic. just like that, lissom suddenly looks like a baby girl rather than a newborn (of course, it still doesn’t stop strangers saying: ‘what a beautiful baby boy!’)

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fantastic tip from my friend bonnie:

all three of us have been suffering from the plane trees in our street shedding their plane-dustings. It’s not as if A. or I suffer from hayfever….but these trees are pretty-but-sneeze-tastic.

Limi has really been suffering at night….all blocked up. We’ve turned the shower room into a steam room…..used nasal spray and even resorted to the torturous (for both of us) nose suction pump.

but what does seem to work...was the suggestion by a Bonnie to put a couple of baby-friendly vapour drops on a muslin cloth and then to throw it over your shoulder as you do the bedtime feed. once she's ready for bed i  drape it over the side of the cot and attach with a safety-pin.

it has the added benefit of clearing my blocked up nose and making the room smell delicious!

jul, 3rd - relationships....

[Limi and her Grandpa Bill...who has flown all the way from Australia to meet her]

day 141:

i've been thinking about Limi and the relationships that she will build with family and friends....if i think back to my childhood it was the special, individual relationships that i had with my parents, my siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles.....that created amazing memories.....

recently....my brother was recalling this fantastic moment with our Grandpa Pete:

"I remember sitting on the grandstands with Grandpa and having just got a watch and him making me tell the time to all his friends every 10 minutes....I was so proud that he was so proud"

[with her cousins Sheika and Ethan who are also in town.....

she adores them and their peek-a-boos]

the strange thing is (and hopefully I'm not the first person to feel this) there's a part of me that wants to be the centre of all these relationships of hers....but that's just silly...because although i can be a part of them and promote them, i've realised that i also need to give her the space to build her own relationships. (probably obvious to others but for me....it required words...to myself!)

[Limi with my sister who gets all the biggest smiles]

so at 4.5 months....it's time to let the apron strings stretch just a little...

jun, 30th - note to self....

day 138:

a serious note to self!

limi will not always want to sleep, curled up on my chest.....savour this while i can.....

other notes to self this week:

* strangers do not find limi's high-pitched squealing, cute...just annoying and high-pitched

* when handing limi to friends with long hair....remember to include a hair tie

* just because you're doing it, doesn't mean it's not still grannified to lick a finger and wipe limi's face


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not sure how this amazing company passed me by....still on my tea-party theme...they make the most fantastical biscuits. 

they're called Biscuiteers! their theme-d collections come in wonderfully old fashioned tins. (they'd be fantastic as a ribbon tin once the biscuits are finished.) i'm especially in love with the Paris tin....

well, and the London tin.....and the Handbags tin.....and the Wimbledon tin....

plus they will also do a bespoke tin....i think a tin of Mini Coopers would go down very well with my nephew.

Biscuiteers photos: www.bigfish.co.uk