Friday, 8 October 2010

oct, 8th - first comes love, then comes marriage....

day 238:

recently (day 211), i blogged about French philosopher, Elisabeth Badinter and her current book called Le Conflict, La Femme et La Mere (The Conflict, The Woman and The Mother). it's essentially about finding the balance between career and kids; over-parenting and parenting; retaining you identity but still accepting your new role as a parent. 

this lead a reader (okay, family member, let's be truthful about my readers here) to send me a link to an interesting article prompted by another book, called To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First. The article, published in the Sydney Morning Herald, is about how we prioritise our relationship time. The book by American family therapist, David Code, says that the current shift of focusing all our attention on our children, can mean neglecting our relationship with our partners, which is actually detrimental to a child's development.

i like his views (maybe...because he says that we shouldn't feel guilty about date night and that instead it's actually a positive thing for Limi). As the article says: "....we are so terrified of being selfish adults that we have forgotten that simply setting a good example is what creates a rounded, successful, happy human being. It is not the child who plays tennis and speaks Italian who is set for a fabulous life if her mother can't be civil to her father."

it's worth a read, if only to remind ourselves that growing up in a family full of warmth, love and affection is a lot more fun than diary discussions, rushing from one appointment to the next and never being in the same room long enough to have a conversation.

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