jun, 25th - stepping back onto the rungs....

day 134:

aaah...how my perspective has changed! a friend commented that she could see 'why i was so in love with limi' and my immediate thought was....'oh fiddle (trying not to swear as much these days....but okay, i didn't say fiddle) you have turned into THAT obsessed parent'. no...can't be...i promised myself and all of you....

anyway...i'm still hoping that although my focus is definitely on Limi, i've still retained some semblance of myself and can manage to have a conversation with friends about topics other than Limi, Limi's sleeping habits, Limi's eating habits, Limi's latest tricks, Limi's missing tricks. In fact, Sally, a friend who has also just given birth' and i, caught ourselves discussing the merits of limited companies vs sole traders the other day...boy were we proud (who knows if what we were saying made any sense....but hey, we were giving adult conversation a go.)

anyway, today i made tentative steps back into that adult part of my brain....i had a meeting about going back to work. 

work! 

and the question of how long to wait before you go back....

i've decided that there'll never be a 'good time'....i guess it's a bit like there's never a 'good time' to have a baby...always some country that you haven't visited yet....some family/friend festival that you don't want to miss or some personal project that a pregnancy/baby will destroy....well as for work...i was pretty certain pre-limi that i would be keen to go back within 6 months but now, i can find a number of limi-related reasons of why the timing doesn't work.....i want to be around to wean her, i may miss the first crawl/ sit-up/ sound of a new word/ taste of butternut....quandaries that face everyone. so the only thing to do is make that leap!

although i can re-engage with the part of my brain that understands a term like 'process transformation' a big part of it now, is dedicated to things like remembering the words to 'rubber ducky' and hey...let's just hope that i don't get the two confused.

ps. the meeting went well...i managed to leave the house wearing a full set of clothes and in fact, loved that i could focus on a limi-free topic for awhile....but i'll admit it....i missed her. it's true. i may be a tiny bit obsessed after all.